


Stiles & Malia's First Time (Extended Scene)

by LoveCas98



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Episode: s03e20 Echo House, F/M, First Time, Humor, Loss of Virginity, Parody, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 05:53:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3476945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveCas98/pseuds/LoveCas98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Echo House" brought us Stiles and Malia coming together as one for the first time.  In this extended scene, we revisit that fateful night and dive deep into their minds as they stare at each other (a lot) and eventually do naughty grown up stuff.  Humor/Parody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stiles & Malia's First Time (Extended Scene)

            “There’s nothin’ here,” Stiles said frustrated. They had been down here doing something with papers and Stiles wasn’t getting the results he was expecting. Stiles was doubly frustrated because he couldn’t even remember why they were here in the first place. It was like this was just a random scene from their lives that someone was watching without bothering to watch everything that came before.

            “Could you do me a favor?” Stiles asked of Malia. “Could you just check the lines on my back? Just tell me if they’re fading.” Stiles was at a party the other night and passed out and someone probably drew all over his back. That was definitely what was going on. The bastards!

            Malia lifted up Stiles’ sexy shirt so she could see the sexy lines on his sexy back. “Yeah, there almost gone,” she said, incorrectly using the word “there” when she meant “they’re.” Oh, Malia. Will you ever learn talking good well? Stiles seemed concerned. Those lines were what defined him as a person. Without them, he didn’t even know who he was anymore. Fortunately, Malia had a lot of experience dealing with human emotions. “I’m guessing that’s bad?” she asked, trying to sexily comfort the sexy Stiles Stilinski, son of Sheriff Stilinski who has nothing to do with this story.

            Stiles grunted for some reason as Malia pulled down his shirt. Her icy cold hands touched the upper echelon of his buttocks and Stiles jumped suddenly.

            “Sorry,” said Malia apologizing to the baby Stiles. They were just cold hands. Get over it. “I told you I’m always cold,” she continued. Men just never listen to anything women say.

            “It’s okay,” Stiles replied. It wasn’t really okay, but Stiles really wanted to kiss her with his tongue so he didn’t say anything. “Here,” he said taking Malia’s hands in his. They were icy cold like I already said. Weren’t you reading? Stiles massaged her hands with his warming them like the noon-day sun. A tingle began to roar in Malia’s privates as this story suddenly took an erotic turn. Stiles’ butt began to tingle as well. He thought she might have given him frostbite with her hands, but it was okay because she kinda almost touched his butt. Scott was never going to believe this when he gossiped about it with him later like all boys do.

            Malia looked over at Stiles with lust in her eyes. “Wow, you really are…” Stiles said to her in a passionate, erotic voice which was just his normal voice. Malia giggled. Stiles was so funny. It was a really turn on. Malia had never felt this way before downstairs. It was like a party in her pants and everyone’s invited! Would Stiles like to join the party? Malia wondered what his vagina looked like. Since she had just recently become human, she had really only seen her own. She hoped it didn’t look too scary like hers did.

            Stiles continued to rub her hand for the next couple hours as Malia just stared at him. Finally Stiles looked up and stared at her. He wondered what was going through her mind. Was she feeling these same tingly sensations in her pants as well? Stiles stared directly into her eyes focusing all his energy on not looking down at her booby boobies. They stared and stared and stared and stared. It was so romantic. Was this love? Stiles began to picture Malia naked. He wondered what the balloons in her shirt looked like. He bet they were so red, with her beautiful nipples covering the entire thing. Stiles also wondered what her penis looked like. He hoped it wasn’t bigger than his; that would be a total buzzkill. Stiles instantly regretted not typing “naked lady” into Google earlier to prepare him for what was about to happen. It probably didn’t matter though. That phrase probably wouldn’t return any results.

            Suddenly and without warning, Malia shoved her tongue down Stiles’ throat. Stiles began to suck on it like a lollypop. Thank God it didn’t taste like dog food – Malia still didn’t quite understand the difference between human food and dog food. Something stirred deep in Stiles’ pants. He started feeling around down there and got really confused. Why was he getting morning wood in the middle of the night? That didn’t make any sense at all. He should probably see a doctor about that.

            Malia licked around in Stiles’ mouth. She traced the contours of his teeth with her tongue, all sexy like. Thank God he didn’t taste like human food – Stiles still didn’t quite understand the difference between delicious raw meat and disgustingly cooked human food. But it was okay because he was cute and that excuses all other flows boys have.

            Malia silently farted and pulled away from Dylan’s face, hoping he didn’t notice. “Was that your first kiss,” Stiles asked her? Malia wasn’t listening. Instead she laughed to herself because of a joke she heard earlier. What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail? Me-ow! Haha! Get it? Malia loved that joke. Wait? What did Stiles ask her? Something about a first kiss. She could answer him, but five minutes had gone by since he asked so it would just be weird if she said something now.

            “Was it okay?” Stiles asked. She didn’t answer him the first time which made him very self-conscious. Stiles had never kissed a real girl before. He drew a picture of a girl and cut the mouth out to practice kissing like all boys do. He and Derek practiced sometimes as well, but don’t tell anyone. Derek always said he was bad at kissing and made Stiles practice on him for hours on end.But this was the first time he did kissing with his tongue on another girl’s face. If Malia didn’t like his kissing, Stiles didn’t know what he’d do! Kissing was his whole life! If he couldn’t do that right, what was the point of life? Well, he could always finish that James Dashner book he started. Then again, the movie was coming out in a few months so what was the point?

            Malia nodded because Stiles had asked her “Was it okay?” in regards to the kiss. Since the invention of the kiss there had been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

            “Wanna try it again?” Stiles asked. _OH, HELLS YEAH!_ Malia thought. Things were about to get freaky all up in here! Stiles kissed Malia with his tongue. This time they started feeling up each other’s necks. Stiles could feel his neck getting rock hard, ready to burst at any moment. Malia, on the other hand, need some more time before her neck was ready to finish. Girls take forever. They continued to kiss with their mouths. No matter how hard they tried, their spit was mixing together. Stiles hoped his spit didn’t get her pregnant when it went down into her belly. Stiles began to rub Malia’s leg with his hand, giving her a hand job. He could tell she liked it because girls like everything guys do to them.

            Malia pulled away. _Oh, no!_ thought Stiles. He wasn’t finished! Didn’t Malia know about blue balls which is a totally real thing? Malia began to talk dirty to him. She said, “I wanna try something else.” Stiles had no idea what she was talking about. Malia was a feral coyote for the past eight years, so clearly she knew more about sex than Stiles did.

            Stiles mumbled, “Something else…” It was really muffled. If someone was spying on them, they might have to rewind the video three or four times to hear what he actually said. Stiles needs to learn to enunciate.

            “Yeah…” Malia replied.

            Malia pulled off her shirt. HOLY CRAP, THAT’S A BRA! Stiles had never seen a bra before. He had only heard about them. Stiles stared at it like a pervert. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing – real life actual breasts.  Woah.  Just woah.  Stiles’ body went boing! Need I say more? It was go time. And this time, it’s personal.

            Stiles laid Malia down on the couch like the naughty girl she was. Slowly, his hand ran down her body and unbuttoned her pants. He reached inside and firmly grabbed hold of her… Holycrapwhereiherpenis!? What the hell was going on!? Was she born without one!?Stiles was really nervous. It was also really wet down there like she had spilled a glass of water or something. What was he supposed to do now? He felt around a little bit more. It was soooooo weird! He found a bump and accidentally brushed against it. Malia’s eyes rolled back in her head. Oh, no! Did he hurt her? Stiles tried to pull his hand up, but Malia pushed it back down. Wait… did she like it when he touched her there? Really? Stiles liked Malia a lot. So even though it was super gross, Stiles kept touching her odd little bump. She began to smile. She had such a nice smile. That was one of the things he liked about… Oh, my! Her hand was suddenly in his pants. It felt sooooooo good!

            Malia reached down and felt something long and hard. She tried moving it out of the way, but it felt like it was attached to his body. She reached down further and felt something bumpy and squishy. She tried pushing that out of the way, too but was having just as much trouble as she did with that first thing. As soon as she brushed it aside, Stiles gasped and smiled. That was weird. Where the hell was his vagina? Oh, well. When in Rome…

            Stiles and Malia laid on top of each other and stared deeply into each other’s eyes. They continued to do things to each other and it was way hot. Stiles and Malia were in love. They knew that no matter what happened in their lives they would always be together. As everyone knows, the love you feel in high school will last forever. If you disagree, you don’t even know. They’re in love! Why can’t you realize they’re adults now!? Stiles and Malia kissed with the passion of a thousand moons. Slowly, their hands became intertwined as they gave each other the best hand holding the world had ever seen.


End file.
